Seeing Matiss Again!

As soon as we stepped out of the car, his orphanage director met us outside. Next thing I knew, she was looking a little ways off and called out, “Matiss.” I looked over and yes, I could make out his little blonde head and I started waving. He literally jumped and sprinted towards me! He was all smiles! After I unloaded my things inside, we walked to his room, I gave him his birthday gifts and then he and I held hands and took a walk outside. Once the kids came in, I did need to focus on that, but he stayed the entire time and helped me. I was so grateful to see my sweet boy, even if only for a little while!

This week, Jon and I are witnessing answered prayer. Daiga, Matiss’s 18-year-old sister, let me know Matiss was going to be discharged from the orphanage and move in with her soon. Matiss was incredibly happy about this development. He was emailing me back and forth about it, so excited, especially once I let him know I was happy for him and ok with it. Then, his emotions just flowed electronically and as I reassured him with "I love you's" and "everything will be ok," I got more "I love you too's" in a day than I have in the 10 weeks since he's left. While this new scenario may not be perfect, God has facilitated it and will provide for these two. Matiss loves his sister very much and I have witnessed her deep concern for her little brother. Though Matiss loves us and loved America, his desire was to stay in Latvia. I prayed and hoped for him to leave the orphanage and hopefully he will soon. Praise God! Continue to pray that God will surround these two with the love of Christ and the support they need. Our last remaining hurdle will be addressing one of his recent emails to me, in which he said he still wanted to come to us at Christmas. My tears just flowed... he doesn't realize it yet, but by moving out of the orphanage, it has closed that door for him. The hosting program is for children under the guardianship of the social government, so he would no longer be eligible to travel with the program. I don't want to damper how excited he is right now, so I'm going to leave that explanation for another day!

He and I will continue to email and I am thrilled to be able to continue my supporting role in his life. Though not mine by birth or law, he is mine nonetheless and I love him dearly. Looking back at the very first photo I had of him, I can honestly say... I never knew just how much I would fall in love with him... he is forever mani Matiss (my Matiss).

Leaving for Latvia

Hey everyone... my New Horizons team leaves today, headed back to Latvia to interview and select the children to come to America for the Christmas Holiday hosting period. Keep us in your prayers, we don't return to the US until September 18th. We visit Matiss's orphanage this Thursday! I'm so excited to see him again and will post pictures and an update as soon as I return! Blessings!

Special Addition...

While this blog is mostly about Matiss and his visit to America, I had to post this! This house has been a regular international thoroughfare here lately. This weekend, we had the very special privilege of playing host to Tian Ai, now Tiffany, and her new American family. This is the very special 6 year old I met in China last year. Last fall, I started the process of locating her file, a regular needle in a haystack endeavor... outside of God's hand that is. I wanted for her and my other 2 special Urumqi girls to be adopted to America and wanted to do everything I could to make that happen for them. While God seems to have closed doors right now for my other two girls, Tian Ai did come to America and God placed her in a wonderful, loving Christian home. After I found her file at an American agency, the agency took my information and said they would pass it along to the family that had accepted her referral, only one week earlier. They called me almost immediately, wishing to hear about their daughter that I had gotten to spend so much time with and fell head over heels for in China. It's a God connection that will last for eternity. I'm still so grateful for the miracle God has allowed me to be a part of in her. What a blessing. SO, I thought you'd like to see a picture of Tian Ai, now Tiffany, one year after I first met her in a Chinese orphanage... sitting in my kitchen and giving me a hug. God is good!

A Mother's Heart

What is it about a mother’s heart? It can be stretched to the capacity required of the assignment. Yet, after that assignment is complete, it never quite returns to its previous state does it? Then again, maybe the assignment of “mother” is never really complete, thus the flexibility the Lord requires in the perceived boundaries of the heart and one’s capacity to love. You just never know when he’s going to stretch that very delicate, sensitive muscle.

As I said goodbye to not just one child yesterday, but many, I felt that little void setting in. I’ve heard it before from people, “I don’t know how you can do this.” I can assure you it’s not easy. I didn’t find it, it found me. I call it the hardest, yet greatest blessing of my life… to reach out to kids for whom very few are reaching. Somehow, God continues to stretch this fallible, weak, human, selfish heart of mine. Access is given to some precious, far away, forgotten, forsaken, hurting boys and girls. These little ones creep in and plant almost undetectable seeds that grow and grow and grow. However, the hard part really isn’t loving, it’s trusting. In the words of Chambers, “Our Lord’s confidence in God and in what His grace could do for any man, was so perfect that He despaired of no one.” Well said… His grace is enough.

As I said hello and goodbye to familiar faces, I realized yet again, just how powerful I am not. I cannot promise these children anything with certainty. The only thing I can promise, or any host family for that matter, is the state of our hearts, which are full of love for them. They cannot leave without knowing with 100% certainty that they have been and are loved. Someone, somewhere thinks they are pretty great. And, considering there are few people cheering for them, I’d say they leave richly blessed in many ways.

As I know some of you are wondering specifically about Matiss’s future, I want to address what I can about that. Jon and I do not have clear direction about adopting Matiss at this moment. We don’t have a no, but we don’t clearly have a yes. In fact, Jon felt he was sensing a need to wait and be patient, so that’s the way we are operating. He does have extended family in regular contact with him, yet he is in the orphanage. We do not know why, but wish that situation could be different for him. Children over age 12 are given choice regarding foreign adoption. Even if we did move forward, it's possible because of these family connections, he could say no. That would be understandable. Basically, there are some special circumstances, it isn't an “open and shut” case. As we continue to pray for God to reveal His plan, we realize even Matiss couldn’t make a healthy, educated decision about adoption after only 5 weeks. We love Matiss, but God loves him all the more, and we trust in His will for his little life and will walk in the ways he directs us regarding it.

Now for the good news… Matiss and I can email one another. My limited Latvian will get a good workout. I waited until the last weekend to ask him about this, as I wanted to make certain I had done everything to build trust with him so he wouldn’t consider it an invasion of his space. We pray this opens doors of opportunity through conversation. Second, I get to see him the first week in September. The New Horizons team heads back to Latvia to interview and select the children for Christmas hosting. I really prayed about this, prior to Matiss’s arrival, to make certain it wasn’t done with selfish motive and I sensed God’s affirmation uniquely, so I’m thrilled to be a part of the team and equally thrilled to get to see Matiss for a couple of hours. Again, Jon and I pray that this subsequent visit goes well and is well received by him. On the horizon is Christmas hosting and the possibility that we could host him again at that time.

I think we can both say we didn’t expect our 10th wedding anniversary to be sad! Jon and I both already miss his crazy antics, the funny things he would say and do. Now that we are absent in body, I pray God continues the work He began in Matiss while he was here with us. On behalf of Matiss and the other 55 children here for the summer, thank you for your prayers and thoughts. Continue as New Horizons begins the process of selecting the Christmas children to offer and pray God sends us loving, dedicated host families for them! Consider if God is calling you to open your home and heart to a child for 4 weeks this Christmas. Visit http://www.newhorizonsforchildren.org for more information about hosting an Orphan from Latvia or Russia.

At the airport

Here's our last picture together, for now. Of course I cried, of course he didn't, he's too cool for that! But really though, he gave us hugs and kisses and was well behaved as he headed out. I miss him already, my house is very calm and quiet! Well, I'm very tired, I've just gotten in from helping the Russian kids get off, so I really need a nap before church tonight. My emotional and physical limit is pretty much tapped today! But, I wanted you to know he did well this morning, no hangups and he is in the air between the US and Prague right now. After Prague, he flies to Riga, Latvia, then takes a bus back to his home city. We got most everything he really wanted in the suitcase, but we were seriously pressing that weight limit! I'll write some final thoughts tomorrow, there are things I would like to say, but need a good night's rest and a little quiet time to process! More tomorrow... my love to everyone who prayed and continues praying for the three of us and the 56 wonderful orphans that were here this summer!

One Last Goodbye

Well, it's that time. Matiss heads out tomorrow morning on a 9:50am flight to JFK, first stop. Our luggage is almost packed. Today we just laid low, spending time together and finishing up our last minute needs. We said goodbye to a few new friends and took some last minute pictures. We gave him a few gifts, a CD player and some CDs for the flight home, a watch and a cross necklace. He has really enjoyed the cd player but I'm glad I waited until the end for it because he's had it in his ear all day! Tonight we had pizza at Stevie B's, one of his favorites. Enjoy a few pictures from today, I'll update tomorrow after I get home from the send off and let you know how that went. I have to stick around at the airport and meet some of the other arriving flights of our kids from other cities, so it will be a long , emotional day for me! Thanks for following us all! We've enjoyed you tagging along with us! Thank you for the prayers for our little man, Matiss. Just a little plug, we will be signing up Christmas host families very soon! Contact me if you are interested or know someone who is! Blessings!

Hepi Borzdei!

Evidently, in Matiss's head, this is how to spell Happy Birthday in English! Today is my birthday and this morning I was greeted with a handmade Hepi Borzdei card and several gifts at 7:15 this morning! He's been talking for a week about how he was going to spend the money he's been earning for my birthday. I fully expected this notion to melt away when he saw something he really wanted. Even when I told him the money in his bank was for him to spend on himself, no, he was insistent. Jon and he went shopping yesterday and he helped picked two items, he picked a cross necklace and some sunglasses. He motioned to Jon that he wanted to buy some perfume, so Jon took him to Bath and Body Works. After he had duly tested EVERY scent in the store, he settled on mandarin orange lotion and body wash, which he spent his own money on and was proud to have $3 leftover. Last night, Jon told him he had to go to football early this morning, but Matiss said to wake him up so they could give me my gifts. Jon told him 7:15, but he said yes. Again, we wondered what would actually happen when 7:15 came around, but he jumped right out of bed when Jon went in. As he came in quietly with my presents, like any good parent, I played into the "I'm not really sleeping but for you to enjoy what you have planned I will play along" role. It's a birthday I won't forget, what a joy. He was so excited. And yes, I wore everything today, my cross necklace, sunglasses and orange lotion. After we got ready, he and I went to the zoo, something he's been looking forward to. Since it looked like a rain free day, I thought we better go now! He was great, probably one of the best days he's had with me. A few times he reached up to hold my hand as we walked through the park. Maybe that doesn't sound like a big deal, but for him, it really, truly was. He's initiated no affection and responded to it very slowly. But, in the last week, we've seen him not only begin to embrace it, but a few times initiate it, like today. Praise God, what a great birthday! Enjoy his zoo pictures, he especially loved the snakes, sea otters and petting zoo.