What is it about a mother’s heart? It can be stretched to the capacity required of the assignment. Yet, after that assignment is complete, it never quite returns to its previous state does it? Then again, maybe the assignment of “mother” is never really complete, thus the flexibility the Lord requires in the perceived boundaries of the heart and one’s capacity to love. You just never know when he’s going to stretch that very delicate, sensitive muscle.
As I said goodbye to not just one child yesterday, but many, I felt that little void setting in. I’ve heard it before from people, “I don’t know how you can do this.” I can assure you it’s not easy. I didn’t find it, it found me. I call it the hardest, yet greatest blessing of my life… to reach out to kids for whom very few are reaching. Somehow, God continues to stretch this fallible, weak, human, selfish heart of mine. Access is given to some precious, far away, forgotten, forsaken, hurting boys and girls. These little ones creep in and plant almost undetectable seeds that grow and grow and grow. However, the hard part really isn’t loving, it’s trusting. In the words of Chambers, “Our Lord’s confidence in God and in what His grace could do for any man, was so perfect that He despaired of no one.” Well said… His grace is enough.
As I said hello and goodbye to familiar faces, I realized yet again, just how powerful I am not. I cannot promise these children anything with certainty. The only thing I can promise, or any host family for that matter, is the state of our hearts, which are full of love for them. They cannot leave without knowing with 100% certainty that they have been and are loved. Someone, somewhere thinks they are pretty great. And, considering there are few people cheering for them, I’d say they leave richly blessed in many ways.
As I know some of you are wondering specifically about Matiss’s future, I want to address what I can about that. Jon and I do not have clear direction about adopting Matiss at this moment. We don’t have a no, but we don’t clearly have a yes. In fact, Jon felt he was sensing a need to wait and be patient, so that’s the way we are operating. He does have extended family in regular contact with him, yet he is in the orphanage. We do not know why, but wish that situation could be different for him. Children over age 12 are given choice regarding foreign adoption. Even if we did move forward, it's possible because of these family connections, he could say no. That would be understandable. Basically, there are some special circumstances, it isn't an “open and shut” case. As we continue to pray for God to reveal His plan, we realize even Matiss couldn’t make a healthy, educated decision about adoption after only 5 weeks. We love Matiss, but God loves him all the more, and we trust in His will for his little life and will walk in the ways he directs us regarding it.
Now for the good news… Matiss and I can email one another. My limited Latvian will get a good workout. I waited until the last weekend to ask him about this, as I wanted to make certain I had done everything to build trust with him so he wouldn’t consider it an invasion of his space. We pray this opens doors of opportunity through conversation. Second, I get to see him the first week in September. The New Horizons team heads back to Latvia to interview and select the children for Christmas hosting. I really prayed about this, prior to Matiss’s arrival, to make certain it wasn’t done with selfish motive and I sensed God’s affirmation uniquely, so I’m thrilled to be a part of the team and equally thrilled to get to see Matiss for a couple of hours. Again, Jon and I pray that this subsequent visit goes well and is well received by him. On the horizon is Christmas hosting and the possibility that we could host him again at that time.
I think we can both say we didn’t expect our 10th wedding anniversary to be sad! Jon and I both already miss his crazy antics, the funny things he would say and do. Now that we are absent in body, I pray God continues the work He began in Matiss while he was here with us. On behalf of Matiss and the other 55 children here for the summer, thank you for your prayers and thoughts. Continue as New Horizons begins the process of selecting the Christmas children to offer and pray God sends us loving, dedicated host families for them! Consider if God is calling you to open your home and heart to a child for 4 weeks this Christmas. Visit
http://www.newhorizonsforchildren.org for more information about hosting an Orphan from Latvia or Russia.
